Meet the spartans stupid

Meet the Spartans () - Rotten Tomatoes

meet the spartans stupid

Read what our users had to say about Meet the Spartans at The jokes are stupid, the "acting" an insult to the profession. Overall: I would rather. Dumb, raunchy comedy is a tired spoof attempt. Read Common Sense Media's Meet the Spartans review, age rating, and parents guide. —King Leonidas, ; the film adaptation of the Battle of Thermopylae. The Spartans had a ruthless reputation around the ancient world. Stupid Hippies.

Preparation Is the Key to Success Like armies in other Greek states, the Spartan army was infantry-based, and fought using the phalanx formation. Shields were of very high significance, and a soldier who lost their shield was severely punished.

That said, Gerard Butler did have exceptional abs. The armor they wore was the same hoplite equipment used by their Greek neighbors. The only difference was the crimson tunic and cloak. Stupid Hippies Spartans were also famed for having long hair. To the Spartans, long hair was the symbol of a free man.

Personally, I would have grown it out. Additionally, it could be used to vertically stab their fallen enemies as they marched past them. Losing was simply not an option for the average Spartan warrior. Theirs was a culture that revered success on the battlefield, to an almost unbelievable degree. Similar to samurai, Spartans were expected to kill themselves rather than surrender or face utter disgrace.

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The Spartans actually did surrender in the Battle of Pylos during a particularly disastrous fight where many Spartans were taken hostage by the Athenians. This event shook the Greek world, as it was commonly believed that Spartans would never surrender.

meet the spartans stupid

They could force her to see if another man could do a better job at impregnating her. Women had little choice in the matter, as Spartan law was strict about encouraging new children since they had to keep replenishing the population that they kept sending to die in wars. A Glass a Day Wine was popular in ancient Sparta, liked but never to be over-indulged in.

The Spartans would drink wine with or after most meals, although they typically watered the wine down. Children were warned to stay sober and to think about the dangers of alcohol. Helots were usually conquered Greeks, and with each new conquest, Spartans would gain more helots. But Who Polices the Police? The Spartans had a secret police known as the Krypteia who were responsible for keeping helots in check.

They would kill any helot found in the countryside during the night and any helots who looked too strong and fit during the day. Perfect for the helot who likes to go to bed early and hates exercise.

In fact, full Spartan citizens were forbidden to participate in trade or menial labor. Big Government The ephors were a branch of Spartan government with no Greek equivalent. Elected from their population of male citizens, the role of the ephor was to balance the role of the king. Gender Roles Women in Sparta had much more freedom compared to Greece. Women would undergo physical training alongside the men, although in their case, it was often to prepare for the war that is childbirth.

Getting a Head The only Spartan citizens who were given headstones after burial were soldiers who died in combat and women who died in childbirth or if they died doing a divine duty. Infants were given thorough inspections, and if any defects were found, they were left to die. According to Herodotus, this did actually happen, but not with Leonidas. Their explanation was that the hero and demi-god Hercules from whom legend claimed all Spartan kings descended sired two twin sons.

Chore Wheel The duties of the kings were limited, but one would travel with the soldiers into battle while the other one would rule from home. According to historical sources, Leonidas was said to have been an aging man at the Battle of Thermopylae, in his late 50s and maybe even as old as 60!

To be honest, the fact that he was so old and still fighting Persians to the death makes his story even more impressive than if he was a young man—but maybe a little harder to cast. Love or Banishment According to some sources, relationships between adult males and adolescent boys were common, and were often formed between mentors and mentees. However, if a relationship was purely physical, both men could be banished.

Which is an odd stance to take, frankly. Cool Whip Spartan boys were flogged with whips for an entire day, and would compete with each other to see who was capable of resisting the highest number of lashes.

meet the spartans stupid

Oops, I Did It Again Although these flogging sessions were meant to be harmless relatively speakingsometimes they did result in accidental death. Which is hardly surprising.

Survivor You might think you had a tough childhood. By the age of 12, Spartan boys were expected to be able to survive in the wild with nothing. Like, no Internet or anything. Survival of the Sneakiest Although the boys were encouraged to steal to stay alive, they would be beaten if caught. Which feels a bit confusing and unfair. I like how you call someone else an idiot when you typed "there they same thing".

Umm, 3rd graders know better grammar than you! Learn the I'm not even going to see this movie. Learn the difference between their, they're, and there before you try to judge someone else. So utterly unoriginal and boring, withWhen one thinks he's seen all the stupid films in the world, along comes "Meet the Spartans.

45 Ruthless Facts About Spartans, Ancient Greece's Legendary Warriors

So utterly unoriginal and boring, with stupid slapstick humour, horrible screenplay and straightout insultingly bad acting, this offers NOTHING positive. If you are an 13 year pubescent boy, you might find something interesting, but even then, that's still a question. This movie references other movies and events and expects you to laugh at the mere mention of them. It's the worst kind of 'comedy'.

The 88 good reviews for this movie are a disgrace. Shame on everyone who likesVomit. Shame on everyone who likes this movie, you're better than this.

User Reviews

You don't have to be a mindless troglodyte. This movie is unfunny, offensive, homophobic, and repetitive beyond belief. There is no creativity and no funny performances.

meet the spartans stupid

Also is the same as nearly every other parody movie that has ever been written. I strongly suggest you don't ever even thinkOne of the most awful films I have watched, was very predictable and bought out nearly every cliche in the book.

I strongly suggest you don't ever even think about watching this film. The only reason I scored it as 1 is because it is indeed a film, and yes they used a camera to film it, that is all I can take away from this dreadful experience.

We knew this before the movie came out, we knew this during its theatrical run and, six years after its release, we still know this. As a comedy, this filmThis movie is chock full of terrible humour, if it can be called that. As a comedy, this film fails on all counts, because it's brutally unfunny. This film represents the very worst of American comedy. This is comedy that's gone through liposuction, and is suffering the immediate after-effect. It's painfully boring, painfully unfunny and painfully painful.

And what makes this even worse is the fact that Seltzer and Friedberg could actually be Bear with me for a moment, let me explain. Look at this film.

While the humour and the parody i.

meet the spartans stupid

The camerawork's quite good, as is the lighting, and I think, if it wasn't a comedy movie, the writing could be acceptable. If Seltzer and Friedberg were to sit down and try to write a decent story with decent dialogue that relied in no way on humour or wit, it would be decent.

It wouldn't be astounding, but it'd be decent. If they pushed the actors far enough, they could deliver good performances, I'm sure of that. I seriously doubt that all of the guys in this film are actually bad actors. Greg Sestero isn't a bad actor, as much as The Room will make you think otherwise. And I think a lot of the cast of this film could give decent performances.

meet the spartans stupid

Not great, mind you, but decent. I think, if this movie were different, not a parody film but an actual movie, it would be decent. Certainly not great, probably not good, and maybe not even average, but it wouldn't be as absolutely god awful as this was. This film is a failure on almost all counts, and shouldn't exist.