Is it wrong to have a relationship with a grad student? « Political Science Rumors
An enormous part of the sexuality between students and professors and between a major professor and doctoral or masters candidates is what Freudians call. Compared to undergraduates, grad students--even young ones fresh out of college--are a little That's why I think the professor-undergrad relationship is dumb. Students have been falling in love with their professors for years. The intense intellectual exchange is intimate, and this goes both ways. While this interchange .
It's simple progressive biology. Andy I've known plenty of saucy cougars into the younger man thing boned a few myself. They tend to be alpha-broads. Fun on the sack. And you learn about things from them. This supply and demand imbalance is bound to produce jealousy among the older females professors who are generally losing out to the younger females grad students. To cope with this imbalance, the female professors lobby their university administration to ban student-professor relations in order to have less competition.
Janette Gives me the idea for a screenplay. Professor dates hot student.
Academe sees a new wave of faculty-student relationship restrictions in the era of Me Too
Other professors look down on Professor dating Student. Borat Sadie is pretty condescending if he thinks all prof-grad relationships result from the male "preying" on the female. These are consenting adults, people.
The demands of class and seminars, the need to work and spend time with spouse and family rob grad students of precious hours for research to complete their thesis. My studies suffered so l cut back. Sometimes faculty increase the pressures on students. My advisor is the chairman of the department. I have a fellowship, and he picked me as his advisee.
A student in such a position often has no recourse. Despite the lack of constructive relationships in many departments, most grads desire closer contact with faculty. The following comments were made by students who point out the importance of continuing dialogue: A mentor who knows your field well can serve as an apt counselor when it comes to the area of career advisement. It he is up on his research and he should be and knows you well enough, he should be aware of some potential career choices that would be good for you to consider.
Richard; Engineering; Ohio St. My advisor is well-connected in the academic village and when he heard I had in interest in a post-doctorate in Japan, his connections made it happen Aaron; History; U.Graduate Faculty and Student Relationship at Notre Dame
Fifty-three percent thought that having an instructor whom they could consult on perconal matters was either important or somewhat important. In several departments at the University of Washington in Seattle, faculty sponsor monthly socials for graduate students in the department.
One student described how his department had a gourmet club in which both graduate students and professors could participate. This provided a change of pace from the normal academic activities and allowed student to get to know professors in a different setting.
The insights gained often helped in their working relationships. These people make valuable contributions to our national life as they pursue their various fields.
Therefore one result of contentious relationships is a dwindling pool of impassioned, well-rounded graduates to fill the need for leadership and scholarship for our national future. Some grads have told us that they have pulled back from faculty relationships or even changed their career focus because of bad experiences. The major result of poor relationships is alienation of the student.
A low level of communication may foster misunderstanding on the part of a professor or may be perceived by the student as deception. For example, one student told his professor that he was not really ready for his qualifying exams.
Go ahead and take them anyway. You can take them over later if necessary. He never trusted any faculty again. The political nature of some departments may create poor atmosphere for dialogue. When the system stymies personal interaction and dialogue about problems, grads tire of what they perceive as a political game of hoops and hurdles in the department. For example, the unrealistic regulations in Yale University for time to complete degree and the intention of enforcing the rule alienated many grads.
Without interaction because of an impersonal stance in higher education and pressures that create barriers to dialogue, some graduate students never find a mentor who can give them the needed guidance to obtain a quality education.
But students can ameliorate even the most difficult situations. We would like to offer some guidelines on how to circumvent the problems and open channels of communication. The Solutions No worthwhile project is accomplished overnight.
Do not expect relationships to happen overnight but plan for creating an environment that will facilitate dialogue, or if that is impossible, plan for alternatives that will help you find a mentor. The first step is to create an open, non-threatening environment to cultivate potential relationships. If that is unsuccessful, the second step is to develop an alternative by reaching out to other groups on campus that can serve as encourages. Third, a sense of personal security will control environmental disabilities that you encounter.
Relationships are not changed or built instantly and one must take small steps toward the ideal. Use the wisdom and experience you have gained to help you establish the rapport you need to open dialogue. These suggestions can help you in your progress: First, create an open, non-threatening environment to cultivate potential relationships.
Define expectations in your department. Each one has its own style and personality.
Determine how yours functions and how you can best use the atmosphere to open dialogue. If your professors like informal, relaxed interaction, come prepared to stimulate their way of thinking. On the other hand, if your department runs formally, use restraint and courtesy to your advantage.
Get to know the most influential members of your department and understand their preferences. Actively find out what your faculty expect of you. Find out if your committee will back you. Then he protected me, steered me and disallowed one dangerous comment that would have hurt me. One student describes what he did to define expectations: I pulled together my committee to ask them what they required of me to get my Ph. They responded in silence, with no ideas.
But after an hour, they had hammered out a path for me to follow. Understand the pressures faculty face. Do you know what kinds of stresses your advisor faces?
Faculty, as well as graduate students, are under many forms of pressure. They, too, operate under all sorts of time constraints. Initiate social or intellectual discussion with the professor on specialty issues.
Begin by asking them questions rather than giving your opinion. In a doctoral program, the more quickly a student becomes socialized into his department, the greater his progress. Having a clear picture of what to expect from your teachers, administrators and advisors will help you find a starting point to begin communication and socialization.
What To Do When Your Professor Wants to Be Besties
Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and even to failure. Faculty see students come and go over the years and may not want the kinds of closeness you desire. Most of all, keep yourself flexible and adapt to departmental quirks and personality differences. Build on faculty perceptions of analytical thinking. A study by Powers and Enright found that certain kinds of thinking skills are more valued in academia: Three of these include: Faculty also agreed upon the most serious reasoning errors and critical incidents.
Then implement the most valued reasoning skills to give yourself greater acceptability and distinction. Develop your communication skills. Strive for good, clear, honest communication with your advisor. As a student, you can initiate dialogue. But achieving and maintaining communication channels means knowing how to open a conversion, when to speak and when to listen, and how to communicate your desires and concerns.
To practice active listening, the sender gets tangible feedback from the receiver as to ho v he, the receiver, should decode the message. After hearing the feedback, the sender then either confirms or corrects the message.
Should your advisor correct what you have said, then verbally confirm that correction. Your feedback avoids needless miscommunication and helps you focus your thinking in the right direction. Active listening also involves using your interaction time wisely. When meeting with a professor, be organized. Allow him twenty-four hours to reflect on his response and suggestions. But in almost all cases, it is better to confront than to avoid.
Destructive behaviors, such as ordering, threatening, judging or criticizing act as vehicles for communicating unacceptance rather than opening doors for further problem-solving. But confrontation and active listening are important. Many students have found that constructive conflict helps bring problems into the open where they can be dealt with. One political science grad described his experience this way: My advisor is difficult to get along with because he has low social skills. At one point, l was running ten minutes late to get a stack of exams to his home.
An electrical engineering student said: As for me, I felt emboldened. I had made the choice to make a grown man in a position of power shake with desire. One night postcoital, professor and I were eating roasted nuts and drinking red wine naked in his bed. I was 20 years old at this point. We put it on.
What To Do When Your Professor Wants to Be Besties
In the film, Woody Allen plays his typical pervy-uncle trope, twice-divorced, in the midst of dating a year-old. Do you believe that? Not that I have anything to hide … but there are a few disgusting little moments that I regret. Watching that film that night with professor, I realized my role as a time-wasting toy, the fun tonic for revitalizing the jaded, irresponsible prof.
I realized that the fact my professor even showed me this film was a game. I was all a game. But things carried on.
In a final year of university, professor convinced me to participate in a course he was offering on Laurence Sterne, author of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman.