The psychology behind the mother-in-law relationship--Aleteia
And when a mother-in-law has difficulties with her son-in-law, she may actually . I could allow him to develop a strong positive relationship with another person!. 60% of women admit that their relationship with their female-in-law Mother-in- law jokes are the staple and cliched diet of comedians but they. Do you find your mother-in-law a challenge? Here are 7 keys to get along with and grow in your relationship with your mother-in-law, even when it's tough.
The more you say these two things the better. Speak nicely about her son Never ever talk badly about her son in any way no matter how comfortable you may be feeling about sharing things with her. She is his mother after all and all you will get is her protective mother instincts or claws if you ever talk badly about your partner.
Get to know her As much as she will want to know what you are about, it is good if you show the same interest in her. Don't just be answering her question, show her that you actually want to get to know her more and be closer in any way that you can.
Compliment her Mother in laws love a good compliment and they will never tire of it! So, when she cooks or organizes something be sure to let her know great she is. Say these things with a warm smile to show that you are actually genuine about it.
Ask for her advice in life Doing this will show her how much you respect and value her opinion.
This will really make her feel like you appreciate her say and there is nothing better for a mother in law than knowing her future daughter in law actually wants to know her opinions on things that matter. Bring gifts once in a while You can never ever go wrong with bringing gifts during an event, dinner or just a casual visit.
How to Improve Your Relationship With Your Mother-in-Law
The more personal the gift the better which, you will be able to know if you make the effort to do step number 4. Always offer help Whenever she is trying to do something for the family or around the house, do offer to help even though you may think she doesn't need it. It is always a great gesture to offer and it will show her how much you are trying to be in involved. You may have started reading this article to join a nag-fest about how awful your MIL is, or find tips that reinforce your bitter idea that she is the one who must change and do all the work to make it right--because you are correct and she is wrong, after all!
You will be surprised to see that most of the information I give in this article focuses on what you can do. If you are mature enough to accept it and honest enough in your desire for a good relationship with your MIL, you will be able to carry these things into your life and see at least a little bit of change. Everything changes when those vows are said and the commitment is in place.
Until then, his mother may see you as expendable, something that may be temporary, and is more likely to be able to show you patience and temperance. Once she sees you as a forever piece of the family, it may be harder to swallow for many reasons.
Below I list tips to overcome common problems with your MIL, and how to reach within yourself to contribute to positive progress in your relationship.
Keep things light and fun with your Mother-in-law and remember to not be so easily offended. Work on Proving Yourself Loyal If you are newly married into a family, you must make the time and effort over a long period of time to prove that you are in this for the long haul, that you are willing to be reasonable and flexible, and that you will do your part in the family to contribute to happiness and well-being. Every family is different, but you will have to know your place as you prove yourself.
You are now your husbands 1 woman, but it is not your place to teach your MIL life lessons by snarkily informing her of this hurtful fact. The love a woman feels for her son is overwhelmingly strong, and throughout life they remember kissing little boo-boos, cuddling, breastfeeding, discipline, and every other cute moment that occurred.
Suddenly, a woman that does things differently comes into the picture and MILs feel threatened. The best thing you can do during these times is contrary to logic: She will grow in respect as she sees that you are a stable, consistent, and unfazed person in the face of her emotional outpourings. She will feel silly and learn valuable lessons.
Which brings me to my second point… 2. The love both of you feel for your husband is the reason all of this conflict comes about in the first place, and he is the perfect person to smooth those ruffled feathers.
Hopefully, your husband knows that you are now first. If not, that is the first conversation you need to have. He needs to be able to kindly and lovingly defend you to his mother.
It may not have been eloquent, but it was a very clear message to Mom: You, the wife, cannot amply defend yourself.
It will come off wrong and lead to more problems. Just smile and nod and explain when needed, and be patient. Once you prove yourself point 1 things will start going smoother. It Is Not a Competition There is nothing to win, nothing to fight about. Two women do things differently, one is upset about the way the other acts, the other is frustrated that she is not wholeheartedly accepted. Both of you must bend and yield and give a little in order for things to work. You cannot control what she does, but you can control what you do.
Compliment her when she does well, looks nice, or has a good idea. Thank her when she does something.
In-law tensions hit women hardest | Life and style | The Guardian
Lay down everything inside your flesh that tempts you to retaliate or fight, and realize it is not a competition. Two women love one man, and both women have already won. One of them is his permanent mother, the other is his forever spouse. The prize has already been handed out.
It may take her longer to realize this, but you have got to stick it out. If she is mentally stable, she will come around, and it will not happen overnight. Year after year you will see things getting better and better if you remain kind, patient, and calm. Stop Being so Sensitive If you are offended by everything and get your feelings hurt all the time, newsflash: If you want to succeed in this world in these times, you have got to have a thicker skin.
It actually is possible to let things roll off and not obsess over them.