On-Again, Off-Again Relationships: Can They Work? | Her Campus
One of the most exhausting relationships you can ever be in is a never ending on -again and off-again relationship. But according to Morgenstern, these relationships never tend to really work out in the long-term because. Sometimes, an on-again, off-again relationship can turn into an of you needs to improve on or adjust, in order to make the relationship work. With this type of scenario, people tend to only accept the answers they want to hear or the parts thereof. I checked out who you are and I believe you are the girl .
Think about why you wanted to end the relationship.
Usually people in on-off relationships break up due to conflict, personal characteristics, stagnation wanting to date somebody else but not sure if that would work eitheror general relationship dissatisfaction.
How to survive long distance relationships You must realize that you are trapped in a toxic relationship. The first step in deciding what to do when you're in an on-off relationship is admittance. Once you're done with that, there's nothing much left to do. If you keep breaking up and patching up, try to find a pattern in it. Look for situations which force you to break up and those that make you go back to your partner.
This will help you decide which course you need to take henceforth. Make a pro-cons list. It may be that you know somewhere deep down that you want to end the relationship but you are also scared about whether or not you are making a right decision.
In such a case, making a pro-cons list will help you weigh your options. Considering that the pro-cons list helped you take your decision whether it's staying or leaving now you need to be firm on your decision.
If you give in to the smaller things, then chances are you'll go back to the unhealthy pattern. So if you decided to stay and try to make things work, do not break up at least not from your end and if you decided to call it quits, do not be tempted to go back.
On-Again, Off-Again Relationships: Can They Work?
The findings of Professor Rene Dailey also included another shocking fact, that 60 percent of adults have had a breakup and then reunited again!
In addition to that, three-quarters of these survey participants went through this breakup-and-makeup cycle at least twice. Are On-again, Off-again Relationships Healthy? Experts suggest that these relationships can be divided into two kinds: Capitalized-on-transitions and Gradual separation.
The first type is where a couple makes a positive use of the breakup time; they capitalize on it. They sort of work on the things that makes the relationship unsustainable, work on these loopholes, so that when they finally reunite, things take a better shape. On the other hand, the second type of relationship is the kind in which each makeup only paves way for a final breakup! If yours was the first kind, it would have been sorted in one or two cycles.
However, if the pattern is repeating more than that, it is probably the second type. Now, coming to the question of this kind of relationship being healthy, or not. Did you know that this on-off relationship is also known as a 'Toxic Relationship'? Evidence suggests that such unions not only affect the relationship, but also the personal well-being of those involved. It can harm one's self-confidence and total satisfaction level in life, thereby arising questions and doubts about self and also other partners in the long run.
Clearly, there is nothing in this relationship that can be termed as healthy. Rather, living in such unions is like living in a delusion, where everything is promised, but nothing is delivered. Essential Advice for Those in an On and Off Relationship After understanding the meaning of this relationship from a bird's-eye view, and realizing how unhealthy this relationship can be, it becomes extremely crucial for those involved in such complicated unions to give a serious thought about continuing with such toxic togetherness.
In order to avoid the emotional toil, the following advice will prove to be of help.
Otherwise, it will only invite in more frustration, uncertainty, and doubts in the relationship. The uncleared things only lead to a benefit of doubt.
If You’re In an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship, This Article Is For You – The Chill Times
These doubts and lack of clarity just add to the mess. Unless you don't put a tick mark on the issues that need to be resolved, and see them getting resolved, there is no point being in such a union. Evaluate the Pros and Cons No decision should be, or can be, taken without evaluating the pros and cons, especially if it is to be taken for something as important as a relationship.
We are sure you must have done that in the past, but there are chances that your heart overruled the decision back then. One thought that overrides the 'happiness and satisfaction quotient' in these relationships is the amount of time invested. If you have been with this lover of yours for a decade, you are likely to shun the thought of finding a better partner, simply because of the time, emotions, effort, etc, etc, invested.
Helen McGrath, a counseling psychologist and lecturer at Deakin University, states, 'People don't easily give up when it comes to relationships.
Often they feel there's a huge investment at stake, and a sense that, 'Well, I've given it so many years, I might as well see if I can make it work'. Observe the Repetitive Pattern We agree that the thrill of getting back to an ex after a break can be alluring, but that's just initially, right?
As we said earlier, reunited again after one breakup, at the most two, is still acceptable. But if you have invested a significant phase of your life living in this repetitive mode of getting back and away, hoping at one time to find true love in someone else, and at another, realizing that the ex was better than the new one, then perhaps you need to rethink. You need to end it. Don't be Stuck in the Past Most of us tend to get hung on to our ex.